We arrived late last night in Denver.  After a long flight, which included a woman a half a dozen rows in front of us loosing her lunch in the isle, a situation you would never want to happen in a confined space with shared air and no windows!  Thank God for coffee grinds which the staff poured on it to eliviate the stench.

We waited outside to get picked up for our rental car and felt all 22 degrees of the Denver weather greeting us.

Recieved a call from one of the nurses at CCRM pushing our initial appointment time back from 7 a.m. to 8:30 a.m. due to the weather.  Happy for that!  Especially since I did not sleep at all last night.  The ice machine must be on the other side of wall because every time I was just about to drift off I heard it.  Of all the things I forgot to pack were my earplugs!

Anyways, the nurse reviewed the itinerary with us and it was a lot less testing than I originally thought and still not sure how I feel about it. We have appointments with Dr.Schoolcraft, our nurse, billing, legal, hysteroscopy, blood tests, Travis' tests, and then a phone consult with Dr.Schoolcraft sometime later.

They never told me of additional testing but in my head I was expecting more.  This is what the guy is famous for and based on our criteria there is not anything on there we have not had done before.  Like I told Travis when we were processing this yesterday, I would still go through with it.  Even though they have been done before, they have not been looked at by the top guy in the country.  This is step 1 to moving on.  There is no other option.  Unfortunately it is very expensive and that burden is ever-present. What we cannot afford is more time.

I am happy to be here.  Not like vacation happy because this is not fun.  People have told me to 'have fun!' 'have a great time.'  This is an extreme example but what comes to mind is like telling a cancer patient that has to travel for chemotherapy to have fun.  Our reason for being here is heavy, it is sad, it sucks, and I would much rather not have to be here.

Seeing snow on the ground does not override being 31, spending this kind of money, and having to see a national specialist on something so dear to our existance.

Going to the Colorado Center of Reproductive Medicine is a big deal.  The emotions I had to set aside until now are coming to a head.

I am scared.  I am nervous.  I am sad.  I am anxious.  I have butterflies in my stomach.

I am comforted by this one thing; Jesus is with us.

I have pictured him literally walking next to us.  What we need of Him today is just to be present.  Because of His promises we know He is.