Since Travis and I said our vows, we have had many beginnings and ends in our journey, as life should. The obvious ones such career changes and moving, and then there is one that we have yet to finish; infertility.
That is not to say we will not finish it. We will.
To those we love, and who may not have seen the depth of the pain the last five years of actively trying to conceive has caused us, I'm glad. It was not pretty.  Without getting into all the crazy emotions of it, below are the facts.

To bring you up to speed:

In November of 2006 - 2007 went off birth control, timed my cycle online, through taking my temperature every morning, and other record keeping methods.

2008 - Started clomid, still aggressively charting my cycles. Stayed on clomid for 8 months. Too many negative pregnancy tests to count.

2009 - Sought out our first fertility treatment and encountered what we now call, the worst fertility doctor ever.  Drove to Tampa to have an HCG performed.  Told us the devastating news that my tubes were blocked and would never conceive naturally. We shared a towel on the way home as we wept. Never saw that doctor again. Continued to try on our own. Too many negative pregnancy tests to count.

2010 - Following the advice of my OBG/YN, had a laparoscopy performed. Diagnosis; endometriosis, which he zapped away and Fallopian tube flush. I remember a nurse in post-op telling me my tubes opened up and crying with relief! For the next 6 months we again, aggressively charted my cycle and went back on clomid.  Too many negative pregnancy tests to count. Getting tired of crying.

2011 - Stopped clomid. Sought out new fertility specialist who did not do IVF, but instead focused on IUI's (Intrauterine Insemination).  Seven stimulated cycles, lots of weekly appointment, tests, monitoring and hormone shots, no success. One IUI, no success.

We requested information from an agency on international adoptions. We have always had a heart for adoption and still believe it will be apart of our lives someday. As we looked at the packet and held it in our hands, we did not have a peace about it.  The timing was off.
My new OBG/YN, Dr. Miller (family friend of Travis') stopped me in the hall at the hospital (I see her in the halls all the time) and suggested we visit a new clinic in town. She said she had a lot of babies come to her from the clinic and saw the quality of doctor's they had. I made an appointment.

July 2011 - Sitting across from the doctor, I heard something I had been waiting five years to hear.  See, up to this point, we had 'unexplained infertility.' How frustrating is that? No one could tell us, after the laparoscopy why we still were not conceiving. "The reason you have not been able to conceive is because you have endometriosis," she said matter-a-factly.  Well, duh. Tell me something I don't know, and she did. "Endometriosis creates a hostile environment for the egg and sperm so they do not connect. You are an ideal candidate for IVF because it bypasses 4 out of the 5 stages where it could get involved." Wow. I couldn't believe it. For the first time, I was open to IVF because there was a real reason and finally, a real answer.

September 2011 - discovered bersitis, bone spurs, and shoulder impingement were the reason for my persistant shoulder pain two years running. Put off starting IVF until after the surgeries. Not an easy decision but knew it had to be done so I could hold our future baby without pain.

December 30, 2011 - Right shoulder surgery.

January 2012 - met with the fertility doctor again to chart out a plan to start IVF in June.

April 6, 2012 - Left shoulder surgery. Four days after insurance cleared me to have the next surgery. Most people wait 6 months in between but I did not have time to lose!

Late April to current - Completed prelimary testing for IVF. For me: two rounds of bloodwork, timed with my cycle, two ultrasounds, and a saline flush of my uterus. Travis: sperm sample.

Infertility is coming to an end soon and for this part, we want to keep you informed.
Some entries may be more detailed than you would like to know. For my fellow IVF friends, you will understand the jargon and the emotions. Others may sound more like a page in our journal, which it is.  We are using this blog as a way to give out information and to talk out what's going on with us.

It is easier to write about our upcoming venture into in vetro fertilization than talk about it. We ask that you please do not ask us about it in person unless we bring it up. If you would like to know how we are doing, please first check this blog.  I say that in the nicest way possible.  Sometimes we can't talk about it because it's hard. If you feel like offering support verbally when we are together, just let us know by saying you are thinking of us and praying for us. Plus, hugs go a long way!

IVF is not new. Lots of couples have done it. To us, it's new and personal.

It's not sad. Scary? Yes. Nerve racking? Yes. Exciting? Yes!  It's a happy time and we are going to celebrate it along the way!

God is with us and I know he carried us the last 5 years. No doubt. He is our more than enough and will see us through the end of infertility in our lives. He is our Redeemer. The best is yet to come, baby! Literally!

Lots of love,
Lauren